Having an obsession when I was growing up had been looked at as a negative characteristic. It was almost looked at as some sort of sickness or condition in our household. Like an unhealthy fixation. Even the definition of obsession in the dictionary is “A persistent disturbing pre-occupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling”. Every time I started to really enjoy something as a kid, I was told to stop or pull back, as I was becoming “too obsessed”. I was never allowed to play sports as a child as I was told that I was not able to concentrate on anything else such as my school work and studies. I was always made fun of at school as I loved playing soccer in my lunch break as this was the only chance I had to play as a kid. Other kids would tease me and call me a “try hard” or “obsessed” because I love to play and kick the ball so much. I followed all the professional teams and would know all the players names and numbers off by heart. For some reason loving something too much was looked at as uncool and unaccepted.
When I was 16 and no longer living under my parents guidelines and rules, I took up boxing at my local gym. I soon became obsessed with this sport and later showcased my skills on those who previously made fun of me in my younger years. This obsession with this sport led me to constantly improving myself by getting faster, stronger and fitter through a combination of lifting weights and performing rounds with my trainer in the ring. I soon realised that the more obsessed I became with improving myself, the more respect and credibility I earned in society. It was like I had some sort of value to bring to others as people constantly asked me for hints and tips on training and diet. It felt good to be recognised for my obsession and passion, and I was able to help others improve themselves through sharing my knowledge and experience.
Now I obsess over business. I obsess over property. I obsess over improvement and helping others. Some people still make fun of me or refuse to understand why I am so obsessed with my work. Others support it, feed off it and take motivation away from it. My business partners, employees and clients are all obsessed with improving themselves. They are obsessed with success. Not just in business but all aspects of life. They are all part of a culture that enjoy the process of building a better life rather than just dreaming of the outcomes and rewards. Improving yourself takes a lot of time, work, stress and commitment that a lot of people aren’t willing to do. This group of people who I consider my team, are focused on solving problems, providing value to the world and personal development. For example, one of my business partners is absolutely obsessed with presentation. He is always immaculately dressed, is a clean freak and is super detailed in all of his work. He will sometimes pull 18 hour days consecutively. Many are intimidated, and shy away from this type of behaviour. I love it and I take a lot of motivation away from it. It pushes me harder to be obsessed just like him so I can also succeed.
Some say if you must obsess, make it a healthy obsession that you are passionate about. I believe it requires to go beyond this. I believe it requires aggressive obsession. Being aggressive with your obsession is going to get you those big, extreme results you have always dreamed of. Sometimes you will have times where things get difficult. Sometimes it won’t be healthy and you may not enjoy it at some points in your journey, but that aggressive obsession may be able to help you get through those times where you don’t feel like going to work or when you get rejected from the bank manager on your next home loan. This aggression can sometimes help you overcome that mountain of stress, because your “why” far exceeds any pain incurred. The people who wander through life aimlessly never achieve anything noteworthy because they do not have enough hunger, desire, and will to change and become something better.
Weak individuals might view obsession as a negative trait, but the truth is, obsessing over your goals and how you will achieve success is what’s required to become successful. For example, I obsess over my wife. The result from that is that I have a very successful marriage. I am obsessed with putting in the time and effort to make sure my relationship with my wife is always improving. You have to advertise to everyone your absolute desire to succeed is authentic. Show them you love the process of learning, working and not giving up. Being known for unbelievable work ethic and solid values will get you the support you want and need to help you achieve your goals. Block out the noise and ignore the naysayers. Some people such as friends and family will drop off, no doubt. This is completely normal and it is the cold hard truth. They will tend to talk you out of your obsession as though you are committing a crime. They refuse to listen to your “why” because they just don’t understand why you are doing what you are doing, as they do not have the capacity to go and do it themselves.
When I first got into property development, some of my friends refused to support me. Some would even ask “What is Luxland?”, after talking to them about it for several years! They ridiculed me for reading books, attending workshops on the weekends and giving up large portions of my savings to put into my first projects. Many of those types of friendships no longer exist. They simply just didn’t understand what I was trying to do so they refused to learn. If I had listened to their recommendations of what I should have been doing with my life I wouldn’t be in the position I am in today. I love my obsessions and thoroughly enjoy sharing my wisdom and expertise with others.
When it comes to advising my clients, I try to make them obsessed with their ideas, purpose and goals. Then I allow and help them to obsess with making the process work and watch it succeed. The potential clients who I turn away are the ones that just talk about the rewards and the results. They are not interested in doing the work and sacrificing the time because they are too focused on the outcome and not the process. The truly successful follow up every action with obsession, enjoying the work that is required to be put in. The more you start to enjoy the process, the more rewarding it will become.
Start surrounding yourself with people who are obsessed with the same interests as you. For example if you love racing track bikes, start associating with the best riders in the country and go for a ride with them. If you have an interest in hairdressing, then find a hair salon who are the best in the industry and get your hair done there. You are in control of your environment and it is up to you to create it. If you show you are obsessed with your craft there will be room for you somewhere. Once you are in this environment your productivity will expand and you will see improvement almost immediately. Surrounding yourself with others who are just as obsessed with their goals as you are , will give you the greatest chance of making sure you achieve yours.